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Real Time Ramblings from Katie

March 23, 2016 by Katie Kelley 9 Comments

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I’m not sure how I’m feeling about this. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful. What we’re doing is really cool. But the moments of fun are about half and the moments of fear, dread, and anxiety make up the other half.

I’ve been pretty good about crying. Maybe once a week? What’s stressing me out is, I can get how people vacation like this. I can see how people do it with a home base too. Having my parents in Florida felt like a lifesaver.
Being able to re-group, have down time, feel a little taken care of, get a moment alone. It was welcome after our rocky start. What I fear is not having that when we head out west. Everyday in the Everglades we have been up around 6:30 and out “doing” by 8am. It’s felt like a vacation. A vacation with kids but still a vacation. And you know when you get back from a vacation and everyone jokes “I need a vacation from my vacation?” Then you have a week or two to get back to your old rhythm? I love that feeling. I’m not sure I’m ever going to feel that and it worries me.

I mean, I just want to put the kids to bed and watch the bachelor. And throw the dishes in the dishwasher. And run down the street to the grocery store whenever I want. And to be alone for a bunch of hours. That’s what I’m missing. Trite I know. But it’s the truth.

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I also miss my friends. Not having anyone to talk to about the highs and the lows of daily life is hard. Mark and I talk all the time, obviously. But he’s happiest when he’s going full throttle so naturally this trip is easier for him. Being a creature of habit, a controlling person, type A all the way, I think I’m having trouble adjusting.

Also, what I wanted from this trip, the slowing down, has happened and hasn’t. We have moments of it but our activities every morning are busy.

Not knowing where we’ll be next stresses me out. We have the big parks booked but the in between while I think in the end will be the most fun, is really getting to me.

I also miss wearing real clothes and getting dressed in the morning.

I suppose we’ll find out rhythm. We have to. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t keep thinking about this just being a vacation and we’ll be home to our 2,800sq/ft house in a bit. It sounds so good at times.

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Comments

  1. Mary-Peyton says

    March 23, 2016 at 11:20 am

    Thank you for your honesty. As always, you rock! As a wife, as a mom, and has a human being! Life is messy and perfectly imperfect. I remember when I was pregnant with my first and I told someone that I was worried about being a good mom. …. and that person responded.. “If you are worried about being a good mom, than you already are”. Embrace the anxiety.. it will keep you on your toes and make you a better mom/wife/human. Love you!

    Reply
    • Katie says

      March 24, 2016 at 8:21 am

      Thank You for your kind words. It’s so helpful to know people understand and are supportive! ?

      Reply
  2. JANICE DRISCOLL says

    March 23, 2016 at 11:35 am

    Katie, I love your honesty, also! Thank you for sharing this time/your feelings with us. Mary-Peyton’s advice makes sense…

    Any chance you will end up in NC mountains???? Hint…..Hint….

    Reply
    • Katie says

      March 24, 2016 at 8:24 am

      You know we will! I’ll let you know when. Lots of love!

      Reply
  3. Caroline says

    March 23, 2016 at 11:56 am

    Katie. You are welcome to stop and rest with us on your way west! Would love to see you!

    Reply
    • Katie says

      March 24, 2016 at 8:23 am

      Thank you! I’ll let you know. We might just take you up on that!!

      Reply
  4. Carolyn says

    March 23, 2016 at 8:26 pm

    I’m so proud of you! I know this cannot be easy, Im not sure if I could do it, but you are strong and mighty and I know that this is something your family will cherish forever. Keep up the good work my dear, because I am in awe and cheering you along the whole way. Miss you! And if you need a girlfriend I’m a text or call away(as long as you have cell service ?)

    Reply
    • Katie says

      March 24, 2016 at 8:22 am

      Thanks for being my cheerleader!

      Reply
  5. Connor Atkinson says

    March 24, 2016 at 9:59 am

    Katie, It has been so fun reading along about your adventures so far, and I am so impressed with your honesty towards this. It is the most amazing experience, but I can imagine one of the hardest as well. Keep it up! Lots of people out there are thinking about y’all!

    Reply

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